Monday, October 20, 2025

Monday October 20, 2025 late AM!

Yesterday I was reading one of the books…. It was about ADHD!  That being said being said I found a lot of quotes in therefrom Anaïs Nin!  She is one of my heroes as she was a great writer who wrote descriptive about her life and her fictional world!  Because she had some quotes on ADHD, something I proudly own! I wanted to look her up with the intention of seeing between her ears.    So I did look her up!


  • Histrionic personality disorder (HPD): Several psychological studies, referencing her diaries and biographical evidence, suggest she met the diagnostic criteria for HPD, along with features of narcissistic and borderline personality disorders. Symptoms of HPD include a need to be the center of attention, inappropriate seductive behavior, rapidly shifting emotions, and theatricality.
  • Childhood trauma: Her early life included her father's abandonment, which some scholars link to her later adult behavior, including an incestuous relationship with him. She also underwent psychoanalysis for years, which became a topic she wrote about extensively in her diary.
  • Coping mechanisms: Her lifelong, meticulously kept diary served as a primary coping mechanism. By writing, she created a version of reality she could control, using a defense mechanism known as dissociation to distance herself from painful experiences. She admitted to fabricating events and manipulating others, which she described as creating a "beautiful illusion". 




That being sad I don’t have HPD, though I have had trauma (lots of it) in my life, it is an honour to see what went on in her mind,  though I have read her diaries, something that I was a real honour to do as I am a writer now because of her and a couple other remarkable humans:  Ian Fleming, Robert young pelton and Romeo Dallaire who also have had trauma in there lives has more less influenced me to started writing about the fiction and non- fictional aspects of my life!   That being said, i found that writing is a better way to cope from certain thing a that let’s say drinking, smoking and do drugs!   That being said my parents drank and this caused more problems for them as I was disappointed in them for the most part as I never would drink this shit in case I do become pregnant, nothing worse then having your own flesh and blood angry at you all day everyday! I just rather not deal with that.  So know you know the root cause of my anger,  that being said I dont know why people drink that stuff and not go into the forest or do something more productive with themselves!  That is why I write instead of drink!  I read delta Venus at age 16 by accident and actually enjoyed it.  It was one of my favourite books!  That being, it was a crash course in descriptive writing!  I would try to ambulate this writing style.

I found that she was of Cuban descent and she was a very smart woman to not drink from what I know off, that being said I was able to see some commonalities, particularly with one of my traumas, the that being I will not say what my idiot brother did to me, but it was similar to what happened  to her, though my problem was a once her was repeatedly!   That being said, I found that this to be interested was the fact that we shared a common trauma and a common coping mechanism, writing!

The episode with my shit head brother was once, it would affect that way i view the man if this world….i kind of view them as womanizing and horrid people that being said not all men are womanizing nor horrid!  I can’t stand the fact that that people like my brother would started to represent the rest of the men on this planet, it makes me sick!  As I found that not all men are like that!   

One of the many people who got me to write other things other then for school was anaïs Nin!  Someone who was similar to me!  That being, though high school i found my self writing in a diary! That being said this was something that got through to me. As I wrote about everything that happened and when I started to wrote poetry when I had my first depression!  I still don’t remember the poem.  I remember the title, my autopsy, which was a ground breaking thing for me to actually not silence my self!

To be honest I don’t mind writing, though you have to come up with ideas everyday!  That being I started this blog to help with me writing and keeping that up! I am going to write in the open novella contest on Wattpad it is still months away, which is annoying to be honest!  I want to see if I also got the amby awards but I have to say to find out to about that, an extra fucking month!  I had this….waiting is a bitch!



No comments:

Post a Comment

Saturday November 8th, 2025 late am!

So I might be able to get some more vinyl though I meant records!   Though I don’t see what I should get though!  I don’t know what is out t...