Thursday October 30, 2025 Late AM

 I actually slept for the second time this month…..as I said I have a very hard time to sleep at this month as I find that I am very sensitive spiritually and psychically to.  I know that sounds like a load of shit but it is true for the most part.  I find that sleeping at this time of year until November first I find an issue with.   I can never fall or stay asleep for the most part  as I feel to much energy and I am not talking about hyper activity energy….that I would need an energy drink for or just something exciting to happen in the first place that being I just feel weird at this time of year.  It could be the spirits and the fact that I am sensitive to the energy around as the veil thins!

I don’t know, but this is the one time of year I swear to good I have DID, that being I am not that really my self until the veil thins and thickens again.  I know quiet a few people who think this is mental illness but it is nit there evidence of the other side in science.  Though I have one foot inn this world and the one in  the next at all times. Remember that ghost dog I saw of my family pet so long ago, that was before science was able to prove the existence of the other side.  That being said I find that my parents though I was talking silly…..a fucking word that I think she be in the swear word category.   I personally did not like being told to stop talking silly which was annoying.  That being I had to keep a lot to myself until people started coming forward about their experiences of the other side, it did not feel good let’s put it that way.

Though there are people still who are close minded about everything in life and beyond which drives me insane.  I personally can’t help at this time of year but to see the spirit of my mother at the corner of my eye.  That being I saw her at the corner of my eye after this spooky season is done.  That is just unusually but this I can say…..I ain’t crazy’s I know what I see and don’t see.  That being if I see it for the first time and know it was real…lit has to be not bullshit!   But I find that actually I could not sleep on this time of year.  I just was able to sense things but it I could not deny what is real and what ain’t. 

Though some people think that hat happened in life influenced my thinking that being said that is bullshit right there.  I am not twirl, I swirl!  I don’t let that this disturb me.  It was a fact of life I just believe in ghosts ….nothing else nothing more.   I don’t think that the fact of the matter I would be crazy because of what happened to me….that being said you have to think you are crazy in order for other ps to think the same.

There was one time I thought I was crazy and that was in high school, because of my depression, but I don’t feel it as much anymore as I did then…..i am healing for the first time.

Wednesday October 29, 2025

 Ana and nils were the neighbourhood who were born and adopted from the same warzone that I was born in!  When I first saw them I was 3 1/2 years old to 4 years old and I remember losing it when first seeing them and pushed nils off his trike!  But soon time heal all wounds and I was able to be friends with the after entering kindergarten!   They seemed still annoying from time to time, but I guess I can not fix that ......time had to deal with that soon! But the time I was in sixth grade there we my good to friends!  But as time went on the became my write hand man, and Woman as I was losing my kindergarten friends, no thank you to Jen and Karen!   What I remember when we were in 7th grade and 8th grade that we were watching the x-files, the simpsons and Jackie Chan movies!  

Soon in the eighth grade I had no one but them to call my friends!   We had most things in common, the country we were born in and the fact that we were the same age group!  I was happy with them as my friends or things would have been different and not in a good way.....they believed in me.  Where no one else not even my parents believed in me!
I saw the both everyday!  And it was more than fun.....it was supportive! We went to eachothers birthdays, except for the fact that I did not like some of their friends who were Mensa snobbery!  I have an IQ of 196 and never want to join f*cking Mensa!    Because of the snobbery!  So soon I was not invited back to the birthdays because of of a fight between a Mensa snob and my self!  Let's say I am more down to earth and don't do math equations for fun, so I couldn't go to there house during birthdays, but the came to mine.  Something I appreciated deeply!  
Soon the x-files made way to video games and I was addicted to video games!   The say the video games cause seizures but I never even want twitch in my body unless I got in crap.....the buckling knees and jaw!  And there were many of those in my youth as my parents at times were annoying, and I to them!   Let's say that I did not appreciate the fighting that my parents and I did do!  And there was a lot of that!   
One time I went to Ana and Nils's mom and said my parents were sh*t!  I remember correctly!  That I was able to confide in the woman more then my on parents!  When my boyfriend in high school cheated she heard about it and wood give me a book!   Usually Islamic poetry!  That being said......she helped and her adoptive children: Ana and Nils helped in ways the were astronomical!  Would I be the right sane and caring person with out the hamsters!  No!   
In fact I would not even be able to understand who Quentin Tarantino was!  He is the best movie director and I borrowed his last name for my pen name....T.M. Tarantino! 

Really I have to thanks these two kids now adults to define who I was as a person......I good and decent person with a fiery imagination like that of Quentin Tarantino.....but do my stuff in writing!     I just hope I can write a good movie script under my legal name elena melanson if I don't change it between now and then!

Wednesday October 29, 2025 late PM

 My job interview was great yesterday, though I did not mention it yesterday!  That being I will be contacted from the tattoo parlour in a couple of weeks!  I personally I cannot wait, though they looking at my art most of the time.  It was still good.  That being I also went trunk or treating which was like trick or treating but out of peoples cars.  It was very interesting though I never did this before, I should have done that last year but I was at sanders farm!  It was fun but not as fun of the trunk or treat!  Then when I got home I attempted the Big Dipper again but with not success… I guess it did not want to play that day.  

But as you can see I attempted again with the big dipper and got results, though I am pretty green at astrophotography  as things a being jostled around and what have you.  It was rather annoying positioning my thumb to get the right shot….but I did it!    That being said I found that today was a rather easy day for a Wednesday.  That being said people can get ornery on Wednesday and I usually don’t like Wednesdays for the most part, they are not an easy pill to take.  Though I don’t mind this Wednesday as people were not as ornery.   That being said I had it take a break from blogging yesterday as I had to address other things in my life!   I did not go to my queer coffee yesterday as I had the job interview and I was too busy!  I thought that getting the Big Dipper 4 times in a row tonight was great. Though on two out four turned out great!

  

This were killer shots as I was able to get even an airplane fly across the Big Dipper!  Phenomenal in my opinion, I personally like doing this astrophotography as it is relaxing for me!  I love taking pictures of the Big Dipper before bed it helps me sleep and relax as well as be mindful and happy amid the chaos of life!  I figured I would try again with the Big Dipper again as I was doing my cleaning and thought if only tonight would be a great time to see the Big Dipper!  And I thought right!

I love this time of year for not just Halloween, but also the early show times that come with this time of year.  Certainly you cannot do this in spring or fall as this timing with the sun is off, way off!  Though summer was great for practicing guitar outside!  I love playing guitar I will be doing this again too!  As I have an other album to do.  This one will be called tackaberry!    This is the name of one of the songs on there up and coming album.  Though my friend, as donated one of her picture (of the stars) it that was pretty awesome!

I would spouse my own but as you can see getting stars on camera is a pain in the ass!

Tuesday October 28, 2025 AM (my slowly letter)

 Hello there how are you doing , tashimdri (which is Tibetan for greetings though I might have spelled that wrong, sorry.)

Have you ever been told to act and be normal?  If though word still annoy you then I have the right person as I am not “normal” too!

Personally I live near Ottawa, Canada  and  think this time of the  year is the best! for two reasons, one is Halloween and the other is the colours as well as the thinning of the veil that come with this time of year…. Did you know that it happens in spring too.  That being my favourite thing about the city of Ottawa is the shopping, and the entertainment. We have every summer of Ottawa blues fest and we have movie theatres and books stories and crystal stores too.  I personally love the gem and rock show at the ey centre!  

 I might be darn busy as I might have a new job as a tattoo apprentice, though I am just going to do the interview for now, here is hoping.

With I only have a high school education, I graduated in 2008 and I started on my mental health journey!  That being said my school life was not always easy though the grades were easy you get…. I am very intelligent and sometime that makes you a target , I find!  My, my, have you ever been bullied in school.  I am also neurodivergent as well i like to say that I am neurospicy spicy!  

I was put in the catholic system for school a very tough place to be honest with you!  Has this happened to you? And if so was this a good or negative experience?

My parents are Peter and Debbie, though they ended up in the spirit world , (they died a few years ago) and they were my only family as the extended family was not as savoury and some of my first degree relatives tried to hurt me because of who I was!  That being I just referr to (in juggalette fashion) my friends as my family instead.  As my parents are gone to the other side of the veil.  Which leads me to liking Halloween soo much.  It is not just about the costumes and marry making!  It is about communicating with the other side!

I had a pet dog when growing up and I had many hedge hogs and fish!  Though the dog lasted longer, I wish to get a cat at one point but my father was allergic to cats and loved dogs!   I so I had this literally back shuck as a pet for the early part of my child hood and I thought it was an actual hell hound!  That being said I love small dogs and cats, especially cats!  I also want to get a beta fish, name it atom and take care of it!  Lots of people think these fish are just art pieces but they are actual living things, you need to care for them.

My hobbies are the usually

🖤tattoos and piercings

🖤reading/writing 

🖤photography 

🖤art

🖤stargazing and astrophotography as well astronomy

🖤playing guitar, handpan and harmonica/singing /song  writing

🖤shamanism

And 

🖤some graphic novels 

🖤gardening (I have a moon garden)🪴 

That being said I have only a few simple goals with my life: publish a few books and become an established tattoo artist and maybe a piercers and to live a good long, long life.  That last one I am sure I can’t don’t but I triply every day.  Why I am on here to make friends and learn different  languages!   I am also trying to get in-touch with my Asian roots, though I am looking quite white washed my ancestry is actually quiet Asian from a DNA 🧬 test I did with ancestry.  This bore  some light in to my world.

I am interesting poetry and I have a poem called the coyote that I want to share with you?  Here it goes!

In the snow there is a coyote sitting there, looking

At me as I come out of my place of employment

As I look it him,

He turns into dog,

Then he shape shifts into a wolf

And then a human being

As the human smiles and shows his teeth.

They look like a megalodon’s teeth,

Sharp and thin

As he lunged at me

A I see that he turns back to a coyote

His shadow now, shape-sifting  with each

Bump and snow ball

I am terrified

And I am frightened for this

Is a cryptid

A mystery monster

That nearly attacked me,

Submitted for approval of the midnight society

This is the tale of the coyote

What do you think about the actual poem and the content of the poem!  I am find that  writing creepy (in a good way almost scary poetry that is tasteful) fun to do!  And I also have Wattpad @thecreepypastafairy!  Which leads me to the next question do you like reading/ writing?  Do you have a Wattpad account.  Just wondering.  I also love to read up on my creepypasta and horror!  What are your inspiration for poetry and writing?  What is your favourite  poem book?  I love the poem book soft thorns as the author also had  some trauma in her life.  That being said I had a lot of lived trauma I my life and draw inspiration form this.  I also find that this hobby saved my life more than once as I was in a very dark place.  Do you find that poetry helps you too? And the same with other forms of writing?

What is your favourite and most important poem you ever read in your life? 

When did you start writing poetry  for the first time and why?  Who inspired you to write Poetry and or novels?

I also have other questions about your favourites:

- what is your favourite poem?

-what are your favourite movies and tv shows?

-what are your favourite books (both poetry and other wise)?

- what music do your ears like?

- do you song write as well?

-what are your hobbies too?

That being said do you think that poetry can help repair or damaged planet and raise awareness to social issues and human rights issues too!

That is all the questions I have for today!

That being said, I hope this letter finds you well/healthy and happy.  That being said I am hoping to be your friend and even collaborate on some writing!  Until this next time…..I will see you later, do catch a cold.  

Your friend  and follow writer

🖤🧡💛🤍

Elena

Siren head

 The sirenhead, what makes you think of  when those words are actually combined.  The almost really monster that is seen in every war and wars zone or don you think about the nerds playing on the computer having a good time?   That might be a whole world different!  

I personally don’t think this is just an internet only obsession though most of it including this blog entry is on the internet like with the latest of news and other information.  Where do you expect to gather intelligence these days but mostly on line and in books!  Would you like to know (and probably do) that sirenhead was a world word 1 world war 2 folklore that was many soldiers though they seen  when the mustard gas was dispersed into the air.  Sounds pretty traumatic just having mustard gas out in the air you breath as you fight…. But then what about the hallucinations that cone with the toxic gases, what will that form.  Enter the 48’ monster cryptid that we know as sirenhead! Two air raid sirenhead stuck on a rotting mummified and emaciated humanoid body lumbering around emitting loud noises and eating people. Well this creature as gotten more elaborate as the wars themselves got more intricate as well.   The story getting disproportionate as the poor monster’s limbs though someone would stick to the mustard gas hallucinations something gas that can cause also blindness and death if worst case scenario!  But the mild symptoms being like with any toxin…hallucinations and other nasties…. Tough I do believe this  monster was popular on the internet by Trevor Henderson, a hero of mine to be honest.

A man who creatively creates monsters as sad as they are scary and troubling!  This monster was created just before the Covid pandemic and the war in Ukraine, both unfortunate events in hour history.  Which leads you to think…. Is this piece of art and powerful omen of things to come.  As if to say that we can’t get to comfortable on this planet or at least not peacefully. Well I thinks so as this thing was a war only monster until Trevor Henderson tapped into it thus popularizing it.    I must say that is a bit of an omen this piece of art and folklore, through I think the folklore as been around since the First World War.  It also an ominous warning of the future!  That with war comes death, dosease and trauma!

That being said, it is an allegory about how we are treating each other and the planet, it also an allegory of how traumatic events affect the human imagination and psyche!  As well explore the forest with sirenhead, we see that it is a heathen, a country (rural dweller) that haunts the forests and fields at night and stays still with the day light.  It is nit to far of stretch if the imagination that this could be real!

But it just a realistic piece of art by a genius since Leonardo da Vinci…. And I am not talking out my ass like smile room but I am telling the truth, Trevor Henderson is a fucking master at what he does and I hope to be just as good at what I do as he does with his hobby/job!

Personally I think this story of a wartime monster brought on my PTSD and mustard gas seems to hold water with what whatever message Trevor is trying to say!  This thing is about as real as a nightmare.  That being said I found that something looked similar to sirenhead while driving and having a pissy day.  That being I thought I saw the thing, sirenhead, near my home town of Almonte as I was driving in the sticks.  That being I should have brought my phone or iPad to take the damn picture,  but was it real…. No!  That being said I still think in my mind -which I don’t use half the time - was real! But I just thought that. And I soon went to port elmsly to pick up a friend and I swore to god I saw it again….both times I thought I saw the sirenhead was when I was in a bad mental space.

That being, I was still traumatic form the other situations in my life: the fact that I had a crappy childhood and the fact that my brother was a complete shit.  Though the kid in me thinks it is real! The sirenhead is just a figment other people’s imagination including the brilliant Trevor Henderson who could be doing this for fun and /or to warn people about what this world is coming too.  

I think we need to heed Trevor and his arts warning about the way we are treating each other and how this will effect this world whole.  If there is more war there will be no more for us as a specie species….we will be extinct too!   But this is just my interpretation on this art!  Tune in for more cryptid and monsters tomorrow and my daily thoughts!

Elena

Monday October 27, 2025 memories

 This I remember is that I was having a massive temper tantrum, a huge huge behaviour and my mother was at her wits end with me! Personal I had was not getting my own way that day, which was normal for some one my age which was four years old.  That being said this was also when I started to talk, and learned to toilet myself!  That being I can’t exactly remember why I was not getting my own way, it could be because of the fact that my mother said no, I word I still don’t like from time to time! Or was that was this something else!   I could not remember!  As I saw the  world was being a complete anatomy piece and a raunch one at that!  So my mother did this……

She took me to the local dollar store near the grocery and food shopping!  That was when she said that she was going to pick something out for me to funnel this negative energy into instead of being pissed off all the time.  I wanted to pick something out but because of the fact that it was a severe behaviour she picked out some markers and water colours!  I knew about the markers as I used them to tattoo the walls and window, so I was well versed in markers!  But I was not so much with water colours!  So she picked out the water colours and some markers and I was screaming my fucking head off!    She did not say anything during the drive to or from the dollar store!  Though when we got home I started to play with the water colours and mixed water with pain!

Don’t this happen, it shuts me the hell up and I am enthralled with the wet colours.  And the effect that drying had on them!  This would unlock my life long deep dive in to the creative world!  This was the beginning if something beautiful and creative, art.  I haven’t looked back since and still look at this as a formative experience that good me into what I am getting a job interview for, tattooing!

Monday October 27, 2025 late PM

 

 Personally I had  the strangest dinner this evening it was supposed to be pulled pork though It looked like bark form a tree!  That being said I wanted threw up at that….it was not the best, it also felt like bark!

That being said I don’t want to talk about this!  I am still green at the gills from it.

I am not a beaver 🦫!  Though I started to want to though this out when some one mentioned  a hard part in their sand which!  I found that not so good though I have had pulled pork and it was great most of the time, there was an off chance that this would happen.  And it did!  It was fucking tough and chewy!  Too things I hated for the most part!  What the hell and the cold slaw was not great,  I don’t know why I am even talking about this!  But it did happen so I was mentioned on the blog!  That being said I had a good day today and thought that the day was going well!  That being said I might have an onslaught of letters on slowly tomorrow that being said I also updated my profile on there as well!  I needed to be more honest with people.  That being said I was not honest about the food tonight, I said thank you and tried it but it did not pain out when I heard the words this is hard! That being I told a white lie, I just hope that fire doesn’t consume me and beam me to hell!  I have to learn that not everything is a courtroom, something I see. The inside many times!

That was one thing that I hate doing is even telling a white lie!  It drives me insane to tell the slightest of dishonesty!  That being said I had to be polite - god I hope I don’t go to hell for this lie.  

That being there is a man in the house that promotes lying for the most part and I can’t bring my self to say the different thing from what I sense in life!  It is part of my neurospicy self and I  feel unclean about this but I did not want to cause shit either.   Personally I don’t like lying it is a sin in my books! Again my religion is shamanism but still I don’t like lying, also I wanted my snack so I had to be like normal people.  That being said I used to get in more shit for passing a polygraph as I would say what they hell was on my mind and get in my trouble for insulting someone.  This words, you should’ve not said that really drives me insane and drives me to tell white lies!  But I had to go to the extreme of my morals!  That being said I started to relax though I am certain I will be damned for all eternity in some ways for telling that white lies!   I was actused of telling a lie in school  and the feeling was horrible like I hurt someone and killed them. It was worst feeling!  Awful feeling.

I never thought I would tell a white lie though the idea of not getting in shit was comforting I still don’t like lying about the smallest thing.  But fact was that I was not that hungry for dinner.  And I started to want to do other things in the first place.

Honestly I was caught off guard with dinner and I did not want to eat at that time.  Personally I found that it was not the food that was at issue but the desire for it.  I did taste good despite feeling like bark!  Though I personally would not eat that again, it was nit bad!  I should really watch my harsh language but I did not want dinner as I had a big thing of ice cream, stupid me!

The ice cream was great it was do, Dairy Queen, strawberry cheese cake blizzard!  What a fucking good treat, though it killed my appetite for supper.  Though I was able to ge my stuff at the recycling centre though it was closed because of the reduced hours for the winter! This I got to say….kiss my ass winter.  This is why I have flowers on my blog as I am not a big fan of winter!

Perosnallly winter is pretty but that is where it ends if you ask me!  I don’t like anything cold but for ice cream and a nice drink (nonalcoholic)!   That white shit (snow,actual snow is not great for the mind unless you’re a gamer!) drive me insane!  As I see it I say what they say on game of thrones -winter is coming!  That being said I still don’t know why that tv show was sooo damn popular!

I will be honest about one thing, winter fucking sucks!  That being said to go get ice cream i dressed like one of my ancestors with furs and leathers! That being said this is time proven to ward of the cold and keep you warm.  Though you look like a fool a this time of year, still the cold is a trigger of mine since I was a little kid!  

I would remember the fact that I loved swimming but hated getting cold in the water…..a most foul feeling and make me remember when my life nearly ended!  That being said if you like the cold -good for you! The same if you like working out, doing martial arts and listening to the eyes of the tiger on repeat - good for you….but it is not my bag!  Personally I like being warm and being able to enjoy read or writing a good book!  Notice that I saw a good book!   I find the words the good book is overrated!  I personally don’t thing we should see this as a hand of high power but it really is a black hole singularity that was the cause and creator of this!  Though most dumbass would say that black holes just fizzle or not explode that being I guess if you feed it to much. But I am sure the black hole was a creator of the universe!  

If you are wondering why I am putting flowers on my blog that being said it is to flip winter the middle finger!  Though I love the sparkly snow at sometimes it only is great when it is fresh!  

This is a preverbal fuck you too winter and what it brings cold, anger and disease!

Not my favourite things to be honest!

Last February i had a cold that nearly too me out of commission for ever!  I saw the light and heard my mother’s voice and started to cry and get ornery and said that I wanted to live!  I swear colds are get sickening!

Monday October 27, 2025 PM

 I was out for a drive this afternoon and did not very well have anything to watch or say about though this I can say that I got a fan at the reuse centre that was similar to my grandmothers fan that she had went she was alive.  That being I  am pretty share it found me, and not the other way around!   This is how the universe works as I was one to admire the big Chinese fan on my grandmothers wall!  It was one thing that I will never forget get that.  Personally I loved that fan or at least the sight of it!  And I wanted one of my own as a kid.  Though I had a smaller version it was still do as grand as the one my grandmother had.    That being said it was a wooden fan though looked like a Chinese fan and it has dried flowers on it, so not a quite like my grandmother’s but it reminded me so much about the damn thing I had to take it!   I also got some Tennessee wall placks.  They are from Tennessee as you can imagine.  Though I don’t know how I will put them up!  That being said I think I pulled a muscle with putting the fan up above my head board!  That being said I started to get some things with strange but wise saying!  I don’t know if they are coasters or what!  But they have words of encouragement on them it was rather interesting.  One says don’t be afraid to be special and the other says always see the possibilities!  They have birds on them and are pretty cute!  I had to take them!  The recycling centre everything is free so you can walk in and out with something and nit feel the need to pay!  Though some recycling centres have the you must pay to have this one does not.

I found with my demonology book i wanted to write a story about a demonic possession on Wattpad, though it is Wattpad so I have to make things a little more mild!   The book is about the being possessed by an incubus - male demon that preys on women and she goes in sane!  That is not the elevator pitch but it is cloud  the elevator pitch is the logline, and my logline is this ….  "A young woman goes insane after a hike in the forest, only to find that she was possessed by a demon that love hijacking peoples' souls and body!"

And the description is as follows,    As Francy goes into the forest she walks pasted a haunted tree, that was used by other before as a torture device.  Unknowly and naïve She goes never the tree that was supposed to be just that, a tree!  Though she never was prone to depression and heavy Moods she starts to hear disturbing voices that not only ridicule her but also torment her!   As she stars to feel that she is losing control of her body and behaviour things started to take a turn for the worse.   

When she is lucid she sees that the dreams she was having of being ravaged by demons, is not just dreams but they were actually happening!

With every twist and change in her personality she goes back to the site of her possession and starts to go back to the torture tree!  That is when she started to go mad from not just the personality changes and the voices in her head telling her it do disturbing things...it was when she sees Lucifer in the flesh.  The forest turns into a fiery and cold pit of hell where she must do battle with the devil to find sanity and her soul again.   As she regains the sanity, she finds that she is plagued with images of the people being tormented at the torture tree!

Will she ever regain her sanity permanently or will she be in the grips of the devil?

*if the content is too much feel free to find another book, as this will adhere to community standards and guidelines, and will be rated Mature!  So don't report it!  Might have themes of trauma and abuse! Again the community standards are a must for me and are very imortant to me*

That being said here is the character profiles!

Francy:  28 female who loves going for a hike though she is hoping to be a mountaineer she finds hat the forest is her zen place and find that she is drawn to a tree, she has had a traumatic past thought plagues her from time to time!  She is alternative looking.  She is not a weak person to say the least both physically and emotionally. Francy was in college for the most part but is going to drop out!  Among her trauma is a mother who thinks little of her!  That being said her mouth was say that she was asking for what happened to her - which was so not true.  She is troubled and only interested in nature and eastern philosophies like martial arts and other stuff.  She was trying to walk in the forest when she acquired an attachment that would result in her possession.

She is very smart and gifted.  I will not list the trauma that she went through that will be for nthe book to discuss!  She looks like a blond sexy librarian on the best of days but she looks awful after her posssession, she is very cerebral and love reading romance novels and smut!

Her favourite movie is: American history x and her favourite tv show is still the Simpson despite the age she is now!  That being said she is a fan of comedies!

Bozo- a 300 year old demon from hell that is trying to ravage Laura  and take her as his queen that being said.  He was an incubus.....a male demon that preys on female humans!  He feeds off electricity and technology as well souls of humans.  He resided in the torture tree and soon she angers him!

Zozo- another demon incubus that also preys on woman who are vulnerable spiritually!

Bobo that demon know for his seducing skills and being able to posses multiple people at once!

Lucifer -  the bastard of the all, the prince of darkness his royal annoying-ness!  The devil, king of hell.

That being said I worked hard on this to perfect on this!  I will down load grammarily to edit my stuff!  That being said, let’s see what the actual story will be going towards will she regain her sanity or will she be lost for ever!

That being my fan is looking beautiful though it has push pins in it.  I personally don’t have a hammer and that is that.  Personally I don’t want a hammer in case for simple fact that I am ill tempered on the worst day!    I broke one phone and one iPad during a six month period and I rather no break this or anything else.  Also hammers are dangerous for the most part.  

Monday October 27, 2025 late AM

My moon garden

 They morning could not have come quickly enough, though I wanted to sleep I could not because of this time of year!  It is so strange that I could not sleep and walk up at 3 in the morning!  But shit happens.  I see t the sun is out and I am able to see this tree burn again!  That being said I found that night time e is a fun time of day but it also is the most annoying for me to deal with as well!  Though for today I am going to take I easy as I was not able to sleep!    That being I might go in the forest to relax at little!  But I don’t know for sure!  And as for the shuck post cujo was a St. Bernard which was very annoying to be honest but that was what inspired king to write that story it was not the black shuck.   Though I saw I picture  of this thing and saw what looked like cujo!    I love a sunny day that being I enjoy going into the forest!   I enjoy the energy bath that I get from going into there!  An energy bath is like a shower or bath that cleans you but only with energy and not soap and water and you don’t go in the nude.  Especially this time of year!   I don’t even like being naked in the shower for the most part for most of my life, but also even more so because some ass asked for nudes on line and then went to blackmail money out of me.  That being said, I don’t like being nude for philosophical and safety reasons.

I would rather just help but thing that this will be good! Tomorrow I might have an apprenticeship at a  tattoo parlour but I don’t know for sure.  I think I told you how I got the interview, I just asked if they had the opening for the apprenticeship and I got an immediate answer, that being said I though they would say no, but actually asked if I could come in for an interview. And to bring any drawings!  Which I have!   That being said I will be working on my portfolio as I work through I am still not sure the I will get the dang job.  I will be floored if I get that.   I have been drawing since I was being potty trained!  

Need I tell you how I acquired this talent!  But, I have been drawing for 32 years.  That being said I am 36 now.  Going on 37, that would be another middle finger to the grimmer reaper.  That being said I find that I am too whiles for that bastard!  That being said I have ; tattooed on my middle fingers jusfor that  assehole.  I had tried to commit suicide  and even thought about it went I was much younger!  But something, thank god, stopped me from going through with it.  I was bullied and traumatized from age 2 to 14, and that was 12 fucking years I could have done with out let’s just say!   That being I am much better than I was back then I am a fucking fighter until the end.   That being I come from a long line of stubborn a

Ethnicities and stubbornness is bread in to me.  That was what saved me many times.  So that is why I have four semi colon tattoos, two on my arms and two on my birds.   That being said I wanted to help people who are in crisis, but that takes schooling, something I don’t have money for!

Personally I had started to moon garden a few months ago for the witch/shamanic way to help with my mental health!    Though it did not bloomed it was still very healing for me!