Sunday October 26, 2025 late AM

Well this was annoying, the fact that I tried to get the Big Dipper last night, but it was hiding behind the forest i go in on a weekly bi weekly basis!   So I settled for the sun instead!  That being said I really wanted to get the Big Dipper again but like a said it was hiding, that being  said early winter late fall this happens all the time.  This well annoying month with concerns of the Big Dipper.    That being said I got a picture of the Big Dipper one my iPad, but I never am satisfied for the most part!    That being said I find this aspect of neurodivergence annoying!   I would like to just get the damn picture and be happy with it.

Personally I could not sleep for the remainder the night, I could not sleep properly!   That being said it was fucking annoying to say the least.     I never had this problem before since my early childhood, when I wondered why I did not have micro sleeps, that is an actual thing. Where you sort of sleep but don’t at the same time.   This is what a micro sleeps is!

Episodes of microsleep occur when an individual loses and regains awareness after a brief lapse in consciousness, often without warning, or when there are sudden shifts between states of wakefulness and sleep. In behavioural terms, microsleeps may manifest as droopy eyes, slow eyelid-closure, and head nodding

 That being said I usually happens with sleep deprivation, so I have a fun day head of me. It is annoying to say the least.  As I could not sleep at all as a child, I would lay awake at night paranoid about the possibility of the nightmares!  That was very annoying!  One I had a very bad nightmare at the tale end of kindergarten when I thought someone from my past was chasing me into a monsters mouth, or something to that affect!  All I remember was some one evil was chasing me and wanting to hurt me because of my traumatic past!  Though I can’t remember very much of the nightmare and thank god.   Mostly these days my nightmares are more prophecy than anything….warnings for the future of humanity!  Though I can’t say ever much say annoying in this part of the world.  This part of the world likes to thing that prophets are more cult leaders which isn’t always the truth!  I don’t even believe in being a fucking nut case.

I keep having these dreams/ prophecies of the end of the world where air raid sirens are whaling and there are mushroom clouds in the distance!  A most ominous sign to be had.     That being said they were noticeable at age 30, but I think I might have had them since 14 years of age…

That being said I just knew that something was risking our lives and freedoms as a human race!  At first I thought it was the Russians, and I could be right as every time the thunderstorms came  that was when I heard the devil laughing and the fact that the Cold War Would start up again signalling the end of the world!  Also quite ominous to tell you the truth.  I would cry when there was a thunderstorm or power outage.    That was when we had the grade august 14 - 15 black out, I thought this was the end.  And you can see that this was me raising hell for my parents.   I guess it was just noticeable at age 30 and they still continue to this day.  

Though there are no ques to trigger these drewm, I could be having a great day and the next thing when I fall asleep I would have this horrid prophecies of the end of the world and wake up in a cold sweat!   

That being said I just noticed this when I was thirty years old, I don’t know if there is something causing this, but I can say that I had these visions when there was a flood in the house, my parents and I had to stay in the motel for some time.  That would be when I saw the dreams that wake up from the slumber and see a flash of white light, which is very strange for me!   I will just leave it at that.

For the most part I hope today will be a great day, though I could not help the sleep situation, at least there was not dream for the most part!  I just find going to bed annoying for the most part.  I am hoping to go in the forest and /or go for a drive!  That being said I find that  it is sunny out which is a good thing, I have mey demon book in case I get bored!  I hope to read more of it today!   That being said the tree is on fire again!

That being said I don’t know how long the trees leaves will last as it fall, though right now it looks beautiful and it looks like it is burning,  that being said I love capturing this tree at its height of its beauty.  Personally I thought I saw some more trees in the back looking similar to this as the sun was setting.  I could have sworn I saw this actually there as the sun was setting to, though I could not take a picture as it was supper time. 

That being said you can see the juxtaposition of the different colours off setting each other.  True a divine sight to be hold and to enjoy first thing and last thing in the day, if it is sunny out!  Though I don’t think I can get the Big Dipper again for a while it was interesting to actually get the picture of the damn thing.   I don’t know if I will win the amby awards yet or qualify for the round three!  I know that the waiting is the hardest part for me.   I entered four books into the contest at August five, 2025 and got rando notifications saying congratulations, that being said I thought the person was crazy until I looked into the actual notification and found that three of my books made it to round two.  It was random  but it was interesting to see this actually happening, though like I say did this actually happen to me!