Tuesday October 21, 2025 AM

  I slept well last night, I am pretty sure I was dead for the duration of the night!  Though I am alive now, I never slept like that for a long time!  The last time I slept like that, I was on a family vacation for the most art, on a cruise ship!   I would sleep for 10 plus hours!  That being said I slept for the nine hours and five minutes.  Not to bad if you ask me!  That being said I found that the sun was hitting a tree just right this morning!  It was so beautiful so I took a picture of the tree!  That being said I saw that the sun was hitting the tree in such a way that was just so surreal! I personally loved my mother seeking this kind if thing as it is beautiful and rare.   In this term glimmer I found that the tree would be a glimmer and the opposite of a trigger.  I never thought I would find glimmers in small things like this before.   That being sad I also remembered the poem I wrote so long ago that saved me!

I was going to the high computer literacy class
A class that I despise 
A class that I dread
I go and sit but .....
It was the last time I sit for all of eternity 
As I sit  out taking a breath
I don't feel my heart beat 
I was sitting lifeless  in my chair
Some of the students noticed that I was not doing 
Anything 
The teacher was calling 911 as he noticed that I was not breathing as I just sit there limp
It feels like I was locked in my dead body, my soul that was!
I cannot enter the spirit world and as I try to enter. The realm
I am just at the borderlands 
I wish I could move but I could not 
Soon they realized what I already know 
That I was dead and in limbo!  As they realized this they call
The medical examiner instead
Because I ain't breathing 
Then I was taking to the morgue
As the drive I scream 
"It's the fucking classes that caused my death
The fucking stress and boredom
The fact that I was deciding to break free!"
But what the does the driver say nothing  as I try to be heard!
I am processed and borough in for autopsy
The medical examiner said this ....
"Who do we have here today!"
She looks at my papers and said my full name
Elena Melanson
Before she could get the scalpel I tell physically make sounds
Telling her he exact cause of death 
"It was that fucking computer lit class
That killed me, it borded and 
Stressed me to death!"   
She finds this remarkable that I would be able to talk with
My own voice
Then for the last time my soul hits the boarder lands
And goes right to the spirit world
And that was when my body went limp for the last time
Had I found peace?  
I am from dearh's cold grip and I find that I am 
In a perpetual summer with 
Wild followers all over the place 
It seems peaceful and I go to the light
I am at peace!"

That being said that was the poem that I wrote in high school when I went through my first depression!  I never though I would remember that poem, that being said ages can be destroyed by if you are neurodivergent then things are memorable if you put your mind d too it!   That being said I have a photographic memory!  Though it took me for ever to remember that poem! As I look at the poem I see that there is a lot of pride in writing some thin for anything but school!  But I am also looking at the tree that is lit up by the sun!  It is so beautiful and eerie/surreal. 

I really enjoy seeing that for the most part of the day but it shall not last, though I want It to!  I love seeing this types of things before the day actually starts!   That being said I also fought two sketch books but that was 2 out of three!  I would have been happy to find the other sketch book for my interview!  Though I am more proud of the art I did in the recent one! That being said here is some of my art that I am proudly showing off!

The are florals for the most part, I found that I am great with florals….surprisingly!  I just started to draw flowers because of my anger issues!  That being said I will explain this with my favourite quote from American history x 

Narrating his essay] So I guess this is where I tell you what I learned - my conclusion, right? Well, my conclusion is: Hate is baggage. Life's too short to be pissed off all the time. It's just not worth it. Derek says it's always good to end a paper with a quote. He says someone else has already said it best. So if you can't top it, steal from them and go out strong. So I picked a guy I thought you'd like. 'We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic chords of memory will swell when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature.' -Danny veinyard 

That is basically why I started to draw flowers other then for the fact that I might be an apprentice at a tattoo parlour!  Someone sugggested that I start drawing flowers for anger management and it actually works!  Though the first flower I did was nit proudly drawn these on the other hand!

I must say that American history x would be one of my favourite films as it addresses racism and anger!  Though I have been on the receiving end of racism for my mixedness I also developed anger towards the racists in my town growing up!  That being said I foud that everyone needs compassion though they might act like other wise! Life is too short to be pissed off all the time, he is right about that!  Other you are giving or receiving racism, anger is never the answer! Nor is fucking racism too!

Honest I don’t know why is going to happen today, I knew that I have my queer coffee but I don’t know if I will go to that it really depends on what they day brings!