Friday November 7th, 2025 pm!

 

I down loaded the moon calendar, it was wrote Tuesday was a full fucking moon!  That being said I love the moon except for when it is this big and full!     It was annoying to say the least.  

But what can you do!

It was annoying to be right about this!  Like I said yesterday i am a spiritually gifted person and sometimes because of the the moon triggers me!  But what happened was extreme even for my case! But then you have to think about the fact that it was super moon!  Those I haven’t had a problem with since I started therapy and that was a few years ago!  So the moon was starting to drive me insane but with he other day it was criminally insane!  That being said I never want to be that way again!  Though I am moving on from this now that I know that it is the sensitivity with the full moon that triggered this shit show!   Still I am not happy that we have a moon!  Though could you imagine if some of the scientist said was true that we have too of them, that would be terrible!  But I can’t stand when that thing is out!  Literally i was just coming out if the movie theatre yesterday night and saw that obscenity in the sky!  I was so fucking angry!! That being said I am  clairvoyant and an empath, I am also a Polarian star seed!  A polarian stars seed is someone who’s soul comes from another star system!  That being said I have all the traits of a polarian star seed, creative, spiritually gifted, intellectually gifted and even having the polarized thinking -this I was told I had from the get go in life!  That being said I also have a north node in pieces!    Which means, creative and I also have the spiritual and practical knowledge towards life!

That being said I would rather not deal with the full moon at this time, and before fucking Christmas, that is bad bad very bad!

Today I was watching an old favourite, dead like me! This was a show I watched in high school when things went to shit and hell in a hand basket!    That being that time lot of stuff went to hell in a hand basket!  That was what high school was about, so I watched dead like me!  It is a fun show though it has swearing in the show, so does this blog and the life I life!  It was in Tubi and it was a lucky find!  Though I have not seen it in a while it was still good to see the actual show again! I think it has 2 seasons but I could be wrong….  It follows a girl named George lass who died by a flaming toilet seat and she becomes a grim reaper!  That being said, it was like a visit form my old friend, if I had one!   I had a lot of friends before great 8, then things went wrong some how!  That being said most of my friends started to bully me in school during the grade 8 and it was night nice!  I will not name names but it was two girls who started to bully be one of them being my long time friend and another was a down right bully, who wanted me to feel rotten about my self!  Thank god for music being an outlet for me to listen to at the time (my family did not want to hear my sing so I listened to the stuff instead).  But then my brother gave me a guitar on the Christmas of 2020, it was the best damn thing since sliced bread or Chinese stress balls!   That being, the instrument is great for my mental health! 

  I found that this instrument is easier than the ukulele, I am neurospicy so more difficult things come easily for me especially the things I want to do!  Though my mother did not like my singing until toward the end of her life, which was a shame to be fair!  I heard the ukulele was supposed to be easy but I have a hard time with it!  Like a said I am neurospicy, so the more difficult the better usually!  Or at least that is what I find!  For the fact that algebra was easier then my times tabled (I still had math) is an example of this.  My brain loves skills!!! The thrill of skills!!!!

As I see that I am starting to see that song writing is the only easy thing i can do for the fact.  I don’t know why but I started after I went to Ottawa blues fest and then I really got serious after my phone broke  -a mouth later from blues fest!  Which was annoying because I had lot of pictures from blues fest!  I went to see Sean Paul and papa roach! Both very impressive acts and they got me into song writing!  Though I just checked my Spotify for artists page and saw that that my sirenhead album run if you hear it was fair more successful than my self titled album beautifully freaky!  My name on Spotify Is beautifully freaky! There is a story behind this name.  As i stated earlier i was treated pretty bad by the other student in grade before high school.  That being said I was called freak, the “r” slur and spas out!  Though I want to reclaim the word freak tron the NSFW community and from people who use that word to demean others and make it a source of empowerment for the goth, neurospicy and gifted people!  That being said I need to claim this word for the people who need it to be empowering and not demeaning!

I really think that is my goal and purpose in life! To empower my humans from the bullies who are trying to demean and destroy us!  That being said I was in an Asperger’s group on Facebook, though i know the term is now out dated, I think we should not try to destroy other people and their life’s over an iq score being higher than the actual bullies iq!  What makes someone better then the bully is the fact that the “victim” is  more pleasant, friendly and easier to get along with the their tormentor!   That is why I think the fact that bullying needs to fucking stop before it drives other well meaning kids and adults completely insane!  This I will say is  I knew bullying was horrible, but it could be deadly!  That being said I learned that it can also kill someone though “suicide” (more like bullicide) as for a class discussion we talked about the effects of bullying!  Though one kid, a numbskull, started to bring in autopsy videos of kids who have been bullied to death!  One was a young woman with an eating disorder…..that was my crash course in forensics and forensic medicine!  Something I don’t think kids t age 13 need to know even if they have an high iq.  This was downright evil to bring the autopsy videos in the class room!  Which was creep was that they teachers let it happen!  Kind of fucked up!  Also that day which was April fools day learned an wealth of medical terminology which was disturbing though those videos!  I never knew about suicide and anorexia before this!  It was not a pleasant thing to learn about…..but I thank god for that! As I am now stubborn as a mule or two!  I will never die of some thing external i will tell you that!  My central  Asian and Chechen ancestors will be proud that I put up a fight long before the grim reaper comes, effectively delaying him….hopefully!  

I had my first depression when I was 16, and I literally thought that this was going to be the death of me, but I fought and I still fight to be alive to this day!  That being said I still am subject to depression especially during the winter months.  This is called SAD, seasonal affective disorder it can occur in the summer months but it does peek at winter for me!  I don’t know if it s a combination of shitty light sources and shitty weather!  Also there is nothing good to do in the winter but to stargaze!

Is this why I don’t like winter!  Though after a fresh snow fall and during a full moon everything is pretty, but it makes you feel pretty shitty….if you know what I mean.  Right now I am battling SAD and the full moon!  To constants in my fucking life other than pain!  Pain is more of a friend then an enemy at least know to feel it -you’re alive!  It’s better then being dead!