Saturday November 8th, 2025 late am!

So I might be able to get some more vinyl though I meant records!   Though I don’t see what I should get though!  I don’t know what is out there for the vinyl that being I hope to find some more gems! Though the recycling centre doesn’t also have punk that being said.   I love to listen to the vinyl instead of Spotify as the sound is richer and you have that crackle sound with it!  Though I have record player!

I had a goood nights sleep, though I had some strange dreams, also I walk up sneezing a couple times!  Particularly the fucking rag weed!  That shit will be more potent the Covid sneeze wise!    Once I had to do a Covid test because of the rag weed one year and it was fucking annoying to say the least!  The rag weed is not my fucking friend I have it wear a mask which is very annoying to say the least!  Personally I don’t like wearing face underwear but I have  to do so for the safety of other people especially if I am going to the recycling centre!  That being I fucking hate, hate rag weed!  I have had many people say that it was my piercings to blame when it was the fucking rag weed!  That being said I don’t care for it!  I am currently waiting form the day to start  and see what the hell will help today!  Though I have my final letter it give out that being said I find that I still blame the full moon for half of this!  Personally I don’t like the moon for screwing with my emotions!  Why I am so sensitive to the moon:  i am spiritually gifted!   One thing I must say that have my PTSD nightmares where night really nightmares but visions of things that happened and will happen!  That being I found that one of my “PTSD nightmares” was about the orang madon the ghost ship that disappeared at sea after releasing toxic chemicals on the ship make everyone’s screams frozen in time!  That being I never hear do the orang madon but I was watching the why file on you tube int heckle fish and the guy!  Heckle fish being the smart Alecy good fish! One of my favourite creators on YouTube!  They were describing what happened on the ghost ship and I had the overwhelming sense of Deja view!  That was when I remember the nightmare a had bout the ship and then it dawned on me…., I am Clairvoyant!  Something I tried to tell my mother but this was freaking her out and she was going to have a heart attack from listening to me!

The fact that  also so a ghost tpdog from from the forest behind my child hood home, was eerie but I had this sense that I was not hostile like the black shuck though it looked like a black shuck, it new that it was not hostile and I want in the house screaming anyway!  When I tried to explain that I saw our family dog inthr woods that night, my mother refused to listen then too!  It was rather annoying to hear the words, “stop talking silly!”  Though I think those three words are bad swear words for the most part, I would never say that to my offspring unless they were talking about committing a prank!  That being said I don’t like the fact that my mother said the repeatedly to me, effectively traumatizing me, thinking I can t trust her.  I think she was trying to be a good mother, though I think if she wanted to be a good mother she would have let me talk.  Though we have different priorities! 

Why do I say that?

I was talking to a friend once and she said that different people have different priorities but that doesn’t make them evil!  I was raging against my aunt one day and my friend was saying that she was just different. Though I like say she (my aunt) was a psychopath!  That being said I found that she said some rather disturbing things about me that I did not like!  I am pretty sure she was a psychopath,  for example the homophobe are usually the best lgbt people!  So with my reasoning I thought that people calling other good and well meaning people psychologically disturbed are just that themselves!    I don’t like my aunt for what she did.  She was trying to get me to the breaking point towards the end of the pandemic by just inviting my mother to thanksgiving and not me telling my mother that  was dead, you see what I mean.  It was more than annoying and I got into a fight with my mother over this shit show!

So I don’t think this as anything to do it’s priorities this was downright ridiculous behaviour and dark triad traits!  Though I think me aunt is more of a sociopath.  I don’t know for sure as I am not a psychiatrist, I am just a person.  That being said I think my aunt as most of the dark traid traits!  I almost have none far the dark triad traits, I have a lot of light triad traits and no dark traits!  Though I have problems with emotional regulation that being I don’t care for that as it is very important to feel the fucking things. 

I would rather feel intense emotions than be a fucking psychopath!  It is much easier to feel than not to feel!”

That being said I don’t love having emotions but it is very good to have and know you are not evil!  Though I think some people may beg to differ that being said I don’t believe in evil.  Just  the fact that people are different!  The only thing that is evil are germs 🦠!  That being said I you ever seen  great germ that would help people ….i don’t care to!  I think that they are all evil for the most part as I get sick from them every fucking winter!  I get sick every winter as it is cold and flu season -I personally don’t like the cold or flu!  They are to happy for me and I just want to kill them all!  Though this germs might look like a work of art in some cases that is where it ends with me and germs!  I love learning about the fucking things but again this will be where it ends for the most part!  I don’t care for them.

Oh I con do this all fucking day!

But I don’t like starting with negative emotions! So I will see what the day brings me later and go from there!

Friday November 7th, 2025 late PM!

This was one of the weirdest thing that happen to me today!  I wanted to play my record play and there was an L.P disk in there, nothing special there.  But when I continued to listen to it I realized this was old punk music from the 70s that being it was the fall who was playing on my record player!  There was no bulbs and there was were other great songs! Though this was only discovered when I started to play it on the app Shazam!   I was dumb founded as I usually find disco, classical and folk for the recycling centre!  But this was a fucking treat!

That being Said I found that this week was hard on me!  So I started to play the record and I was dumbfounded to see that it was punk music playing on the record player!  Though I am very excited about this I would play the darn thing more often it i have this really nice but annoying “roommate!”   Who sleeps in the other room who has super hearing!  That is the only annoying thing about this person!   Though I found that he was there for me when I was going through the bitchy part of the week!  That being said I should listen to the record player more often than not!  I could not believe that I found that this at the recycling centre one day!  Though I might buy more form Amazon!  That would be nice but there are stupid expensive!  Though I need more records I will get one one day!  Though I am looking for journey and Donna summer!  This was a big and wonderful surprise to be had!   The fact of the matter was this was the only exciting thing about the after noon!  As I did not do very much for the afternoon except to pick up people and get some books at the book store! (Little free library) it was interesting to find some books that I wanted to read!but no as interesting as finding this gem of a record! 

Usually I see this in movies, that the kid uncovers something wonderful and falls in love with it! But this was crazy to be honest with you!  The fall was a 70s punk band- this was the same time when the goth world was coming to light!  Goth is an off shot of punk designed to be similar to Count Dracula in some ways but still punky!  The only punk I loved when I was a kid was blink 182, sum42 and other bands like the transplants and good stuff but the i think the bad brain’s as I think there are called!  That being, I have a bunch of garbage bags full of shit to donate so I will be getting more records for the simple fact that I love records more than cd’s that being.  I was dumb enough to get three garbage bags of shit out of my room but I had to nit because I wanted to movie out, the stuff also had to go!  So I was able to find actual treasure like this the fall album!  Also someone oftered to give my book a kidnapped a review, that being said I can twit to see if this will cost me anything if not I will accept! 

Also this after my charger died which was annoying so I have to get another for the  some where!    That being said I found that getting an email about the actual story i am writing is strange but also exciting as well!  That what will this lead to in the future!    I never thought  someone would find my book 

“ I came across Kidnapped and was immediately drawn into the intense, twisted dynamic between Jamie and Cody. You’ve crafted a story that explores obsession, passion, and the dangerous lines between love and control. The tension between fear and attraction keeps readers on edge, making it impossible to put down.”  

That being said I find this strange but interesting that someone would find my book interesting for the most part!   I like the fact that that some people would love to red my shit from now until next week!  Though I thought  the person was a scammer at first!  I will update you on this strangeness later on!

Friday November 7th, 2025 pm!

 

I down loaded the moon calendar, it was wrote Tuesday was a full fucking moon!  That being said I love the moon except for when it is this big and full!     It was annoying to say the least.  

But what can you do!

It was annoying to be right about this!  Like I said yesterday i am a spiritually gifted person and sometimes because of the the moon triggers me!  But what happened was extreme even for my case! But then you have to think about the fact that it was super moon!  Those I haven’t had a problem with since I started therapy and that was a few years ago!  So the moon was starting to drive me insane but with he other day it was criminally insane!  That being said I never want to be that way again!  Though I am moving on from this now that I know that it is the sensitivity with the full moon that triggered this shit show!   Still I am not happy that we have a moon!  Though could you imagine if some of the scientist said was true that we have too of them, that would be terrible!  But I can’t stand when that thing is out!  Literally i was just coming out if the movie theatre yesterday night and saw that obscenity in the sky!  I was so fucking angry!! That being said I am  clairvoyant and an empath, I am also a Polarian star seed!  A polarian stars seed is someone who’s soul comes from another star system!  That being said I have all the traits of a polarian star seed, creative, spiritually gifted, intellectually gifted and even having the polarized thinking -this I was told I had from the get go in life!  That being said I also have a north node in pieces!    Which means, creative and I also have the spiritual and practical knowledge towards life!

That being said I would rather not deal with the full moon at this time, and before fucking Christmas, that is bad bad very bad!

Today I was watching an old favourite, dead like me! This was a show I watched in high school when things went to shit and hell in a hand basket!    That being that time lot of stuff went to hell in a hand basket!  That was what high school was about, so I watched dead like me!  It is a fun show though it has swearing in the show, so does this blog and the life I life!  It was in Tubi and it was a lucky find!  Though I have not seen it in a while it was still good to see the actual show again! I think it has 2 seasons but I could be wrong….  It follows a girl named George lass who died by a flaming toilet seat and she becomes a grim reaper!  That being said, it was like a visit form my old friend, if I had one!   I had a lot of friends before great 8, then things went wrong some how!  That being said most of my friends started to bully me in school during the grade 8 and it was night nice!  I will not name names but it was two girls who started to bully be one of them being my long time friend and another was a down right bully, who wanted me to feel rotten about my self!  Thank god for music being an outlet for me to listen to at the time (my family did not want to hear my sing so I listened to the stuff instead).  But then my brother gave me a guitar on the Christmas of 2020, it was the best damn thing since sliced bread or Chinese stress balls!   That being, the instrument is great for my mental health! 

  I found that this instrument is easier than the ukulele, I am neurospicy so more difficult things come easily for me especially the things I want to do!  Though my mother did not like my singing until toward the end of her life, which was a shame to be fair!  I heard the ukulele was supposed to be easy but I have a hard time with it!  Like a said I am neurospicy, so the more difficult the better usually!  Or at least that is what I find!  For the fact that algebra was easier then my times tabled (I still had math) is an example of this.  My brain loves skills!!! The thrill of skills!!!!

As I see that I am starting to see that song writing is the only easy thing i can do for the fact.  I don’t know why but I started after I went to Ottawa blues fest and then I really got serious after my phone broke  -a mouth later from blues fest!  Which was annoying because I had lot of pictures from blues fest!  I went to see Sean Paul and papa roach! Both very impressive acts and they got me into song writing!  Though I just checked my Spotify for artists page and saw that that my sirenhead album run if you hear it was fair more successful than my self titled album beautifully freaky!  My name on Spotify Is beautifully freaky! There is a story behind this name.  As i stated earlier i was treated pretty bad by the other student in grade before high school.  That being said I was called freak, the “r” slur and spas out!  Though I want to reclaim the word freak tron the NSFW community and from people who use that word to demean others and make it a source of empowerment for the goth, neurospicy and gifted people!  That being said I need to claim this word for the people who need it to be empowering and not demeaning!

I really think that is my goal and purpose in life! To empower my humans from the bullies who are trying to demean and destroy us!  That being said I was in an Asperger’s group on Facebook, though i know the term is now out dated, I think we should not try to destroy other people and their life’s over an iq score being higher than the actual bullies iq!  What makes someone better then the bully is the fact that the “victim” is  more pleasant, friendly and easier to get along with the their tormentor!   That is why I think the fact that bullying needs to fucking stop before it drives other well meaning kids and adults completely insane!  This I will say is  I knew bullying was horrible, but it could be deadly!  That being said I learned that it can also kill someone though “suicide” (more like bullicide) as for a class discussion we talked about the effects of bullying!  Though one kid, a numbskull, started to bring in autopsy videos of kids who have been bullied to death!  One was a young woman with an eating disorder…..that was my crash course in forensics and forensic medicine!  Something I don’t think kids t age 13 need to know even if they have an high iq.  This was downright evil to bring the autopsy videos in the class room!  Which was creep was that they teachers let it happen!  Kind of fucked up!  Also that day which was April fools day learned an wealth of medical terminology which was disturbing though those videos!  I never knew about suicide and anorexia before this!  It was not a pleasant thing to learn about…..but I thank god for that! As I am now stubborn as a mule or two!  I will never die of some thing external i will tell you that!  My central  Asian and Chechen ancestors will be proud that I put up a fight long before the grim reaper comes, effectively delaying him….hopefully!  

I had my first depression when I was 16, and I literally thought that this was going to be the death of me, but I fought and I still fight to be alive to this day!  That being said I still am subject to depression especially during the winter months.  This is called SAD, seasonal affective disorder it can occur in the summer months but it does peek at winter for me!  I don’t know if it s a combination of shitty light sources and shitty weather!  Also there is nothing good to do in the winter but to stargaze!

Is this why I don’t like winter!  Though after a fresh snow fall and during a full moon everything is pretty, but it makes you feel pretty shitty….if you know what I mean.  Right now I am battling SAD and the full moon!  To constants in my fucking life other than pain!  Pain is more of a friend then an enemy at least know to feel it -you’re alive!  It’s better then being dead!

Thursday November 6th 2025 (memory)

 The first time I kicked my father in the hohos (balls) was also a fully bully night to!  That being said he was get irate snd he started to push me for the first and last time!  Let’s say you never touch a woman  that being said it is more danger when the woman was super moon sensitive! I was supposed to do something for my father, did not want to, he got really worked up and he pushed me!  So I kicked him!  It was one of the most shameful displays of human behaviour  other than this November with the beaver moon this week that made me border line abusive.   This on the other hand was a perfectly good reaction from a woman being pushed around physically by a guy even if it was their father!  This being said I had to clarify to my mother that it was in self defence and I had to basically kick my father in the basketballs!  I don’t know very much about make anatomy but I would not bei surprised if they were the size of basketballs that week!  That being said never ever lay a hand on a woman, it will not end well!  That was when I decided to not or try not to react violently -first and last time that is outside of the school yard.    It was more then annoying to see your father in a borderline abusive attack me!  That being when my brother m Bryan also attacked me , I was not putting another human life on the line again….ket me be clear if I hit someone I am strong enough to kill them.  

That being, I just discovered that I was able to pull my bed out nearly across the bed room, it is 400 pounds and I am 122 pounds.  This why I don’t get violent as I also am too damn strong!  Though I am more of a reactive pacifist  because sometime I have to put my foot down, that being said I don’t like getting angry because it will lead to violence!  And that ought to get me in enough shit for a few rebirths!  How do I know, because I was walking down the hall i school and I was told to go to hell, retard by some one as awful as that word!  That was when with a punch I saw him unconscious snd barely breathing!  He was in a coma for 3 weeks!  I got into that much shit for it that I landed my self on the know fly list for a goddamn punch to the face!

So you can see why I hate, hate violence because I was 90 lbs at both this time, and I am 122lbs I down want this kid if power of life and death because the person hurting me is an asshole!  When I was 90lbs I did not know my own strength until it was too late that kid nearly died snd I also was sent it a shit place on earth!  Also life is to short to be pissed of  all your life, it just is worth it!   I know that I use this quote and a lot because from of my favourite movie (American history x).  I just wish they woudl stop being so frustrated as this affects me!  This is my first negative memori that I  out on blog, because I have had really intense emotions during a life time!  I would nit hav it either way!  Because of emotions we are separated from the read of animal kingdom!

Thursday November 6th, 2025 late pm (the moon is a shit disturber)

 I am sorry for not writing as often as I should, though I did  see a great movie!  This is the first movie review I will write about the movies!  That being said I found that tron series great though i started the year of 2011, think that that tron legacy was the first movie in the series….boy was  I wrong about that.  It is the third of the tron series which is very awesome to see the third trip, and what a trip that was.  Not only was this an entertaining movie though, it was very emotional and I found myself tearing up once and a while! I would personally give this five stars as I loved this movie so much…. But that was the afternoon!

This morning I was at my singing group!  That being said I enjoy this too!  When I got back I was told by a friend that I was going to see a movie!  That being said  I was startled at this surprise.  That was the first movie review I would ever give that was actually positive!   I never felt some man emotions on the emotion wheel as I did with that movie…. The movie as you can tell from reading this is actually a great thing that happened.  Though coming out of the theatre was leaving a lot to be desired, on the night of the fourth snd fifth there was this damned beaver moon, a fucking super full moon…..now if you know me, then you will know that I act really out of character during this type of full moon.🌕. And on Tuesday the fourth was an emotional hell!

That was the offending moon, I really acted like a shit that day: threatening to move out snd went as far as to pack up all my stuff and act like a damn fool!  That being said, I wish there was some thing that would war me of this shit show!  The moon is responsible for most of my shitty behaviour and it means nothing to me if the damn thing were to disappear in to space, or get hit by the North Koreans!

• Amplified energy: A supermoon is considered to have a more potent effect than a regular full moon, acting as an emotional "high tide" that brings simmering feelings to the forefront.
• Emotional intensity: People may experience magnified emotions, both positive and negative, feeling either intense joy or overwhelming sadness and anxiety.
• Intuition and insight: The increased energy can sharpen intuition and make it a time to tap into inner wisdom through dreams, meditation, or reflection.
• Focus on release: For many, the supermoon is seen as a time to release emotional clutter, overcommitments, or toxic attachments through rituals or honest conversations!

That being said this is what I had to put up with once every so often!   And here is why!

those who identify as spiritually gifted or highly sensitive may feel more intensely affected by a super full moon

, possibly due to heightened emotional sensitivity, vivid dreams, or a stronger connection to energy shifts. While scientific studies show no direct link between the full moon and changes in human behavior, anecdotal reports suggest this heightened sensitivity is more common for empaths and those with strong spiritual connections

That I am highly sensitive to the fucking full moon as long as it is super moon!   This is not an excuse for the shitty behaviour though the full bully is to partially to blame for this!  Yes the moon is a bully at the best of times!  I personally could do with out!  Full moons are one thing but full super that is downright ignorant on the creator’s part!  Why create some thing as annoying and the though in the worlds most sensitive animal on this plane with this nerd ball floating every once in a while come at you!  Personally I could do with out this fucking moon and the effec tippet has on me.  Should I blame it for the fact that I lost have my stuff packing it up!

Thursday October 30, 2025 Late AM

 I actually slept for the second time this month…..as I said I have a very hard time to sleep at this month as I find that I am very sensitive spiritually and psychically to.  I know that sounds like a load of shit but it is true for the most part.  I find that sleeping at this time of year until November first I find an issue with.   I can never fall or stay asleep for the most part  as I feel to much energy and I am not talking about hyper activity energy….that I would need an energy drink for or just something exciting to happen in the first place that being I just feel weird at this time of year.  It could be the spirits and the fact that I am sensitive to the energy around as the veil thins!

I don’t know, but this is the one time of year I swear to good I have DID, that being I am not that really my self until the veil thins and thickens again.  I know quiet a few people who think this is mental illness but it is nit there evidence of the other side in science.  Though I have one foot inn this world and the one in  the next at all times. Remember that ghost dog I saw of my family pet so long ago, that was before science was able to prove the existence of the other side.  That being said I find that my parents though I was talking silly…..a fucking word that I think she be in the swear word category.   I personally did not like being told to stop talking silly which was annoying.  That being I had to keep a lot to myself until people started coming forward about their experiences of the other side, it did not feel good let’s put it that way.

Though there are people still who are close minded about everything in life and beyond which drives me insane.  I personally can’t help at this time of year but to see the spirit of my mother at the corner of my eye.  That being I saw her at the corner of my eye after this spooky season is done.  That is just unusually but this I can say…..I ain’t crazy’s I know what I see and don’t see.  That being if I see it for the first time and know it was real…lit has to be not bullshit!   But I find that actually I could not sleep on this time of year.  I just was able to sense things but it I could not deny what is real and what ain’t. 

Though some people think that hat happened in life influenced my thinking that being said that is bullshit right there.  I am not twirl, I swirl!  I don’t let that this disturb me.  It was a fact of life I just believe in ghosts ….nothing else nothing more.   I don’t think that the fact of the matter I would be crazy because of what happened to me….that being said you have to think you are crazy in order for other ps to think the same.

There was one time I thought I was crazy and that was in high school, because of my depression, but I don’t feel it as much anymore as I did then…..i am healing for the first time.

Wednesday October 29, 2025

 Ana and nils were the neighbourhood who were born and adopted from the same warzone that I was born in!  When I first saw them I was 3 1/2 years old to 4 years old and I remember losing it when first seeing them and pushed nils off his trike!  But soon time heal all wounds and I was able to be friends with the after entering kindergarten!   They seemed still annoying from time to time, but I guess I can not fix that ......time had to deal with that soon! But the time I was in sixth grade there we my good to friends!  But as time went on the became my write hand man, and Woman as I was losing my kindergarten friends, no thank you to Jen and Karen!   What I remember when we were in 7th grade and 8th grade that we were watching the x-files, the simpsons and Jackie Chan movies!  

Soon in the eighth grade I had no one but them to call my friends!   We had most things in common, the country we were born in and the fact that we were the same age group!  I was happy with them as my friends or things would have been different and not in a good way.....they believed in me.  Where no one else not even my parents believed in me!
I saw the both everyday!  And it was more than fun.....it was supportive! We went to eachothers birthdays, except for the fact that I did not like some of their friends who were Mensa snobbery!  I have an IQ of 196 and never want to join f*cking Mensa!    Because of the snobbery!  So soon I was not invited back to the birthdays because of of a fight between a Mensa snob and my self!  Let's say I am more down to earth and don't do math equations for fun, so I couldn't go to there house during birthdays, but the came to mine.  Something I appreciated deeply!  
Soon the x-files made way to video games and I was addicted to video games!   The say the video games cause seizures but I never even want twitch in my body unless I got in crap.....the buckling knees and jaw!  And there were many of those in my youth as my parents at times were annoying, and I to them!   Let's say that I did not appreciate the fighting that my parents and I did do!  And there was a lot of that!   
One time I went to Ana and Nils's mom and said my parents were sh*t!  I remember correctly!  That I was able to confide in the woman more then my on parents!  When my boyfriend in high school cheated she heard about it and wood give me a book!   Usually Islamic poetry!  That being said......she helped and her adoptive children: Ana and Nils helped in ways the were astronomical!  Would I be the right sane and caring person with out the hamsters!  No!   
In fact I would not even be able to understand who Quentin Tarantino was!  He is the best movie director and I borrowed his last name for my pen name....T.M. Tarantino! 

Really I have to thanks these two kids now adults to define who I was as a person......I good and decent person with a fiery imagination like that of Quentin Tarantino.....but do my stuff in writing!     I just hope I can write a good movie script under my legal name elena melanson if I don't change it between now and then!

Wednesday October 29, 2025 late PM

 My job interview was great yesterday, though I did not mention it yesterday!  That being I will be contacted from the tattoo parlour in a couple of weeks!  I personally I cannot wait, though they looking at my art most of the time.  It was still good.  That being I also went trunk or treating which was like trick or treating but out of peoples cars.  It was very interesting though I never did this before, I should have done that last year but I was at sanders farm!  It was fun but not as fun of the trunk or treat!  Then when I got home I attempted the Big Dipper again but with not success… I guess it did not want to play that day.  

But as you can see I attempted again with the big dipper and got results, though I am pretty green at astrophotography  as things a being jostled around and what have you.  It was rather annoying positioning my thumb to get the right shot….but I did it!    That being said I found that today was a rather easy day for a Wednesday.  That being said people can get ornery on Wednesday and I usually don’t like Wednesdays for the most part, they are not an easy pill to take.  Though I don’t mind this Wednesday as people were not as ornery.   That being said I had it take a break from blogging yesterday as I had to address other things in my life!   I did not go to my queer coffee yesterday as I had the job interview and I was too busy!  I thought that getting the Big Dipper 4 times in a row tonight was great. Though on two out four turned out great!

  

This were killer shots as I was able to get even an airplane fly across the Big Dipper!  Phenomenal in my opinion, I personally like doing this astrophotography as it is relaxing for me!  I love taking pictures of the Big Dipper before bed it helps me sleep and relax as well as be mindful and happy amid the chaos of life!  I figured I would try again with the Big Dipper again as I was doing my cleaning and thought if only tonight would be a great time to see the Big Dipper!  And I thought right!

I love this time of year for not just Halloween, but also the early show times that come with this time of year.  Certainly you cannot do this in spring or fall as this timing with the sun is off, way off!  Though summer was great for practicing guitar outside!  I love playing guitar I will be doing this again too!  As I have an other album to do.  This one will be called tackaberry!    This is the name of one of the songs on there up and coming album.  Though my friend, as donated one of her picture (of the stars) it that was pretty awesome!

I would spouse my own but as you can see getting stars on camera is a pain in the ass!

Tuesday October 28, 2025 AM (my slowly letter)

 Hello there how are you doing , tashimdri (which is Tibetan for greetings though I might have spelled that wrong, sorry.)

Have you ever been told to act and be normal?  If though word still annoy you then I have the right person as I am not “normal” too!

Personally I live near Ottawa, Canada  and  think this time of the  year is the best! for two reasons, one is Halloween and the other is the colours as well as the thinning of the veil that come with this time of year…. Did you know that it happens in spring too.  That being my favourite thing about the city of Ottawa is the shopping, and the entertainment. We have every summer of Ottawa blues fest and we have movie theatres and books stories and crystal stores too.  I personally love the gem and rock show at the ey centre!  

 I might be darn busy as I might have a new job as a tattoo apprentice, though I am just going to do the interview for now, here is hoping.

With I only have a high school education, I graduated in 2008 and I started on my mental health journey!  That being said my school life was not always easy though the grades were easy you get…. I am very intelligent and sometime that makes you a target , I find!  My, my, have you ever been bullied in school.  I am also neurodivergent as well i like to say that I am neurospicy spicy!  

I was put in the catholic system for school a very tough place to be honest with you!  Has this happened to you? And if so was this a good or negative experience?

My parents are Peter and Debbie, though they ended up in the spirit world , (they died a few years ago) and they were my only family as the extended family was not as savoury and some of my first degree relatives tried to hurt me because of who I was!  That being I just referr to (in juggalette fashion) my friends as my family instead.  As my parents are gone to the other side of the veil.  Which leads me to liking Halloween soo much.  It is not just about the costumes and marry making!  It is about communicating with the other side!

I had a pet dog when growing up and I had many hedge hogs and fish!  Though the dog lasted longer, I wish to get a cat at one point but my father was allergic to cats and loved dogs!   I so I had this literally back shuck as a pet for the early part of my child hood and I thought it was an actual hell hound!  That being said I love small dogs and cats, especially cats!  I also want to get a beta fish, name it atom and take care of it!  Lots of people think these fish are just art pieces but they are actual living things, you need to care for them.

My hobbies are the usually

🖤tattoos and piercings

🖤reading/writing 

🖤photography 

🖤art

🖤stargazing and astrophotography as well astronomy

🖤playing guitar, handpan and harmonica/singing /song  writing

🖤shamanism

And 

🖤some graphic novels 

🖤gardening (I have a moon garden)🪴 

That being said I have only a few simple goals with my life: publish a few books and become an established tattoo artist and maybe a piercers and to live a good long, long life.  That last one I am sure I can’t don’t but I triply every day.  Why I am on here to make friends and learn different  languages!   I am also trying to get in-touch with my Asian roots, though I am looking quite white washed my ancestry is actually quiet Asian from a DNA 🧬 test I did with ancestry.  This bore  some light in to my world.

I am interesting poetry and I have a poem called the coyote that I want to share with you?  Here it goes!

In the snow there is a coyote sitting there, looking

At me as I come out of my place of employment

As I look it him,

He turns into dog,

Then he shape shifts into a wolf

And then a human being

As the human smiles and shows his teeth.

They look like a megalodon’s teeth,

Sharp and thin

As he lunged at me

A I see that he turns back to a coyote

His shadow now, shape-sifting  with each

Bump and snow ball

I am terrified

And I am frightened for this

Is a cryptid

A mystery monster

That nearly attacked me,

Submitted for approval of the midnight society

This is the tale of the coyote

What do you think about the actual poem and the content of the poem!  I am find that  writing creepy (in a good way almost scary poetry that is tasteful) fun to do!  And I also have Wattpad @thecreepypastafairy!  Which leads me to the next question do you like reading/ writing?  Do you have a Wattpad account.  Just wondering.  I also love to read up on my creepypasta and horror!  What are your inspiration for poetry and writing?  What is your favourite  poem book?  I love the poem book soft thorns as the author also had  some trauma in her life.  That being said I had a lot of lived trauma I my life and draw inspiration form this.  I also find that this hobby saved my life more than once as I was in a very dark place.  Do you find that poetry helps you too? And the same with other forms of writing?

What is your favourite and most important poem you ever read in your life? 

When did you start writing poetry  for the first time and why?  Who inspired you to write Poetry and or novels?

I also have other questions about your favourites:

- what is your favourite poem?

-what are your favourite movies and tv shows?

-what are your favourite books (both poetry and other wise)?

- what music do your ears like?

- do you song write as well?

-what are your hobbies too?

That being said do you think that poetry can help repair or damaged planet and raise awareness to social issues and human rights issues too!

That is all the questions I have for today!

That being said, I hope this letter finds you well/healthy and happy.  That being said I am hoping to be your friend and even collaborate on some writing!  Until this next time…..I will see you later, do catch a cold.  

Your friend  and follow writer

🖤🧡💛🤍

Elena

Siren head

 The sirenhead, what makes you think of  when those words are actually combined.  The almost really monster that is seen in every war and wars zone or don you think about the nerds playing on the computer having a good time?   That might be a whole world different!  

I personally don’t think this is just an internet only obsession though most of it including this blog entry is on the internet like with the latest of news and other information.  Where do you expect to gather intelligence these days but mostly on line and in books!  Would you like to know (and probably do) that sirenhead was a world word 1 world war 2 folklore that was many soldiers though they seen  when the mustard gas was dispersed into the air.  Sounds pretty traumatic just having mustard gas out in the air you breath as you fight…. But then what about the hallucinations that cone with the toxic gases, what will that form.  Enter the 48’ monster cryptid that we know as sirenhead! Two air raid sirenhead stuck on a rotting mummified and emaciated humanoid body lumbering around emitting loud noises and eating people. Well this creature as gotten more elaborate as the wars themselves got more intricate as well.   The story getting disproportionate as the poor monster’s limbs though someone would stick to the mustard gas hallucinations something gas that can cause also blindness and death if worst case scenario!  But the mild symptoms being like with any toxin…hallucinations and other nasties…. Tough I do believe this  monster was popular on the internet by Trevor Henderson, a hero of mine to be honest.

A man who creatively creates monsters as sad as they are scary and troubling!  This monster was created just before the Covid pandemic and the war in Ukraine, both unfortunate events in hour history.  Which leads you to think…. Is this piece of art and powerful omen of things to come.  As if to say that we can’t get to comfortable on this planet or at least not peacefully. Well I thinks so as this thing was a war only monster until Trevor Henderson tapped into it thus popularizing it.    I must say that is a bit of an omen this piece of art and folklore, through I think the folklore as been around since the First World War.  It also an ominous warning of the future!  That with war comes death, dosease and trauma!

That being said, it is an allegory about how we are treating each other and the planet, it also an allegory of how traumatic events affect the human imagination and psyche!  As well explore the forest with sirenhead, we see that it is a heathen, a country (rural dweller) that haunts the forests and fields at night and stays still with the day light.  It is nit to far of stretch if the imagination that this could be real!

But it just a realistic piece of art by a genius since Leonardo da Vinci…. And I am not talking out my ass like smile room but I am telling the truth, Trevor Henderson is a fucking master at what he does and I hope to be just as good at what I do as he does with his hobby/job!

Personally I think this story of a wartime monster brought on my PTSD and mustard gas seems to hold water with what whatever message Trevor is trying to say!  This thing is about as real as a nightmare.  That being said I found that something looked similar to sirenhead while driving and having a pissy day.  That being I thought I saw the thing, sirenhead, near my home town of Almonte as I was driving in the sticks.  That being I should have brought my phone or iPad to take the damn picture,  but was it real…. No!  That being said I still think in my mind -which I don’t use half the time - was real! But I just thought that. And I soon went to port elmsly to pick up a friend and I swore to god I saw it again….both times I thought I saw the sirenhead was when I was in a bad mental space.

That being, I was still traumatic form the other situations in my life: the fact that I had a crappy childhood and the fact that my brother was a complete shit.  Though the kid in me thinks it is real! The sirenhead is just a figment other people’s imagination including the brilliant Trevor Henderson who could be doing this for fun and /or to warn people about what this world is coming too.  

I think we need to heed Trevor and his arts warning about the way we are treating each other and how this will effect this world whole.  If there is more war there will be no more for us as a specie species….we will be extinct too!   But this is just my interpretation on this art!  Tune in for more cryptid and monsters tomorrow and my daily thoughts!

Elena

Monday October 27, 2025 memories

 This I remember is that I was having a massive temper tantrum, a huge huge behaviour and my mother was at her wits end with me! Personal I had was not getting my own way that day, which was normal for some one my age which was four years old.  That being said this was also when I started to talk, and learned to toilet myself!  That being I can’t exactly remember why I was not getting my own way, it could be because of the fact that my mother said no, I word I still don’t like from time to time! Or was that was this something else!   I could not remember!  As I saw the  world was being a complete anatomy piece and a raunch one at that!  So my mother did this……

She took me to the local dollar store near the grocery and food shopping!  That was when she said that she was going to pick something out for me to funnel this negative energy into instead of being pissed off all the time.  I wanted to pick something out but because of the fact that it was a severe behaviour she picked out some markers and water colours!  I knew about the markers as I used them to tattoo the walls and window, so I was well versed in markers!  But I was not so much with water colours!  So she picked out the water colours and some markers and I was screaming my fucking head off!    She did not say anything during the drive to or from the dollar store!  Though when we got home I started to play with the water colours and mixed water with pain!

Don’t this happen, it shuts me the hell up and I am enthralled with the wet colours.  And the effect that drying had on them!  This would unlock my life long deep dive in to the creative world!  This was the beginning if something beautiful and creative, art.  I haven’t looked back since and still look at this as a formative experience that good me into what I am getting a job interview for, tattooing!