Sunday October 26, 2025 late PM

With regards to my parents, they were not always villains, they were very good parents, the let me good trick or treating beyond the age of 20, and got me everything I wanted for Christmas time and time again.   But they should have let me be the judge of my friends! Though I think what they wanted for me was a future…. Though I could not see a good one with sociopaths in my life!   Something tells me that they cared about me but they also cares about their image more, that being said when I was visiting my brother, the shit head not the good one, they said that  they were concerned with their imagine around other people and was more concerned with how other people thought about them, more than what they thought of themselves- and some times that comprised their integrity!   That being said they were great but flawed parents who were loving behind closed and opened doors, though they were concerned more with image!  Having the perfect garden and having the perfect family.  That being said I started to think when I wanted to express my cultures and explore them that was when they started to worry about the fucking bullies.  This is what I said at age seventeen and this I still stand by:  I don’t give a fuck about the tormentors and nor to I care about their existence.   That was when I started to tell them they should not care about image either/ nor conformity.  That word is so abnormal still to me this day.  That being said I taught them so Ming the I never thought they would understand, stick up for what you believe in and not how idiots see you.  

Personally I am putting up bleeding heart pitched as this was what was my mother’s favourite flower other the. Marigolds!  I am not a big fan of marigolds to be honest.  But I am actually a fan of the weird and wonderful.  She started to plant this when I started to express my suspected cultures on the out side and stretched my ears effectively starting my body art journey. She wanted to embrace the weird and wonderful and this was her way to show it through buying planting and showing off the weirdest most unique flower there is in North America.  The bleeding heart.    I had to seen this flowers going to and from the bookshop and the library and thought they were nice but never thought anything of the name of the things, but when my mother mentioned them ….i had a mental picture.   I personally love these flowers as much as I love the woman who planted them in my back yard! This was her saying that she wanted the weird, unique and the wonderful in life not just the normal.  It was then when I noticed that she would see their error if her way by picking my friends.  This was her way saying go be you!  Since the bleeding hearts I was able to get a few more ear piercings and delve into my cultures through watching xena warrior princess and getting a DNA test!     That being said xena warrior princes showed the cultures of Europe, Middle East and Asian cultures too!  So I was able to watch this show and imagine my self as a Amazonian princess only to find out that that is  what was in my blood, central Asian, Himalayan, Tibetan and Arab as well as white and Persian!     All the groups that were in xena warrior princess even the Greeks too are in my blood.

  My mother wasn’t just a mother, she was a pearl!  A pearl the size of Jupiter as I loved the person she was becoming a woman of integrity, though she was still flawed and they still showed but she was just human!  

The fact that she allowed me to pursue anything i wanted to do, and showed that through the bleeding heart flowers, that was still something that I find was a great!  As she knew I loved anything from sirenhead to black holes and beyond.  These are the most beautiful and wierdest flower I have seen!  Come to think of it before I went to live where I love now, she allowed me to get a tattoo!  I thought a demon took her body and did something to her so I had her repeat that again!  Same damn thing, “you can get a tattoo!”

Now I am tattooed 9 times! 

The other things that my mother did for me was teach me about other cultures, through travelling, something that was fun until I hit my thirty’s and did not want to do it any more!  Personally I loved the airport as a kid and would look forward to it until that day in September when the fucking garden gnomes ruined everything.  That being said I I could go on about my mother’s flaws the fact that she cheated on my father online and other bullshit but I refuse to write anymore bad things about someone who did more good then horrible!   

That being said, I was also very special to the people around her, lawyers and politicians, who were good people at the time!  I hell I am pretty sure I meet a few prime ministers and chief justices at the time.  This was a wonderful child even though I never went to college or got to go!    Personally I think what my parents thought was the here and now and focusing on the present and not worrying about the future!  Though I mistook that as annoying at times.   Though I think my mother would agree that one of my brothers was a bastard.  I will not mention his name, as I took a counter terrorism course on coursera and I feel that not mentioning the idiot names and not acknowledge their existence, speaks louder the words!  Needless to say I will meantion the name of my mother as she did very little wrong in her life: Debbie.   Now that is a pearl and a half!  Come to writing this i thing she would be a pearl the size of a blue super giant - a star!  And not a Jupiter pearl.  Though I have to say Jupiter as that is the biggest planet in the solar system!

 I would rather remember the good than fuck around and play with crap, that stuff should be flushed in my opinion not to be entertained!